Nívbarf: Silmarillion, Facebook News Feed Version
by Erwen Brogiel
Summary: Inspired by the brilliant Hamlet  Facebook News Feed Edition  and Austenbook, I asked myself the question: what if Facebook had existed during the events of the Silmarillion? Now with Akallabêth and Of the Rings of Power.
1. Chapter 1

_Inspired by the brilliant Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition) and Austenbook, I asked myself the question: what if Facebook had existed during the events of the Silmarillion?_

_Note that this does not include the Ainulindale and Valaquenta, only Quenta Silmarillion, Akallabêth and Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age. I regret that I do not have the skills necessary to Photoshop this._

**Of the Beginning of Days; Of Aulë and Yavanna**

Melkor and Manwë are no longer friends.

Tulkas heard there was a war going on. SWEET!

Tulkas likes kicking Melkor's ass.

Aule just made some very pretty lamps, if he may say so himself.

Yavanna likes the Spring of Arda.

Tulkas and Nessa are now married.

Melkor smashed down the lights. LOL.

14 of your friends are attending the event Shaping of Valinor.

Yavanna just made some very pretty trees, if she may say so herself.

Nienna helped too, _actually_.

Aulë is feling lonely.

Aulë created seven dwarves.

Eru Ilúvatar commented on Aulë's dwarves: "Hey, _I_ am the Creator around here. Are you mocking me?"

Aulë sent Eru Ilúvatar seven dwarfs.

Eru Ilúvatar is not angry any more.

Yavanna became a fan of Ents.

Manwë became a fan of Eagles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Of the Coming of Elves and the Captivity of Melkor; Of Thingol and Melian; Of Eldamar and the Princes of Eldalie**

The Quendi likes stars.

Oromë became a fan of Elves.

Manwë created the event Battle of the Powers.

Tulkas thinks it's about time he got to kick Melkor's ass again.

Ulmo is sure that summoning the elves is a mistake... not that anyone ever listens to him.

Melkor is not looking forwards to spending three ages in Mandos.

Ingwë, Finwë and Elwë like the Two Trees.

Oromë, the Vanyar, the Noldor and the Teleri are attending the event March To Valinor.

Elwë became a fan of nightingales.

Elwë and Melian are now in a relationship.

Olwë wonders where his brother is.

Olwë is now King of the Teleri.

The Vanyar and the Noldor joined the group Amanyar.

The Teleri became a fan of the Sea.

The Teleri added Tol Eressëa to the Places I've Been application.

The Teleri added "ship-building" to their interests.

The Teleri joined the group Amanyar.

Elwë could have sworn he was only gone for a few hours...

Elwë is now King of the Sindar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Of Fëanor and the Unchaining of Melkor**

Míriel badly needs to rest.

Míriel added Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Finwë loves his son, but wants more children.

Finwë and Míriel are no longer married.

Finwë and Indis are now married.

Finwë now has three sons, yay!

Fëanor still thinks one should have been enough.

Finwë would like to point out that Fëanor has seven sons, which is more than anyone else.

Melkor promises to be nice if the Valar lets him out of Mandos.

Ulmo is sure that unchaining Melkor is a mistake... not that anyone ever listens to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Noldor**

Fëanor became a fan of Galadriel's hair.

Galadriel would not give Fëanor a single hair for all the gold in Aman.

Fëanor doesn't need that hair anyway, because he just made some jewels that are much better.

Fëanor became a fan of the Silmarils.

Varda hallows the Silmarils so that nothing evil can touch them.

Melkor became a fan of the Silmarils.

Melkor added "spreading lies among the Noldor" to his interests.

Fëanor and Fingolfin are no longer friends.

Fëanor knows what Fingolfin is planning.

Fingolfin isn't planning anything... but he knows what Fëanor is planning.

Fëanor became a fan of swords.

Fëanor added "rebelling against the Powers of the World" to his interests.

Fingolfin wants his father to control Fëanor, and would gladly help him do it.

Fëanor knew that Fingolfin was planning to usurp his position.

Fëanor has a sword that is sharper than Fingolfin's tongue, and will use it next time.

Manwë tagged Fëanor in his note This Deed Cannot Be Passed Over.

Mandos, Doomsman of the Valar is questioning Fëanor in the Ring of Doom.

Mandos, Doomsman of the Valar likes the word doom. Doom, doom, doomy doom doom.

Fëanor is not ashamed of anything he's done.

Ulmo was _sure_ that unchaining Melkor was a mistake... not that anyone ever listens to him.

Tulkas is leaving the council to find Melkor and kick his ass.

Mandos, Doomsman of the Valar banishes Fëanor from Tirion for twelve years.

Fingolfin will forgive his brother.

Finwë is going to follow Fëanor and his sons to Formenos.

Fëanor notes that this leaves Fingolfin in charge in Tirion. How convenient.

Melkor offers Fëanor aid.

Fëanor just shut his doors in the face of the mightiest being in the universe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Of the Darkening of Valinor**

Melkor and Ungoliant are now friends.

Manwë created the event Most Glorious Festival Ever Held in Aman.

Manwë wonders why everyone can't just get along with each other.

Manwë tagged Fëanor in his note Come To The Festival!

The Vanyar and the Noldor are attending the event Most Glorious Festival Ever Held in Aman.

Finwë says he won't meet his people while Fëanor is banished.

Fingolfin and Fëanor are now friends. (Manwë likes this.)

Melkor created the event Darkening of Valinor.

Ungoliant hasn't had a meal this good in ages.

Melkor realized that assassinating trees doesn't sound all that badass.

The Teleri wonder what the hell just happened.


	6. Chapter 6

**Of the Flight of the Noldor**

Yavanna thinks she can revive the trees with the light in the Silmarils.

Fëanor will not give up his Silmarils.

Melkor stole them anyway, and slew Finwë. LOL.

Fëanor is burning with rage.

Melkor is now Morgoth.

Ungoliant is still hungry.

Morgoth and Ungoliant are no longer friends.

Morgoth tagged Balrogs in his note Help I'm Being Eaten by a Giant Spider.

Fëanor added "REVENGE" to his interests.

The Noldor likes Fëanor's speech.

Fëanor created the group May the Everlasting Dark Take Us If We Break Our Oath.

Maedhros, Maglor, Celegorm, Curufin, Caranthir, Amrod and Amras joined the group May the Everlasting Dark Take Us If We Break Our Oath.

Fingolfin thinks his half-brother is crazy. (Turgon and Finrod like this.)

Finarfin wonders why can't we all just get along? (Orodreth likes this.)

Galadriel is eager to be gone. (Fingon, Angrod and Aegnor like this.)

Fëanor created the group Leaving Aman for Middle Earth.

The Noldor joined the group Leaving Aman for Middle Earth.

Fingolfin joined the group Leaving Aman for Middle Earth.

Manwë tagged Fëanor in his note Go Not Forth.

Fëanor says farewell.

The Teleri will not give up their ships.

Fëanor is burning with anger.

Fëanor created the event Kinslaying at Alqualonde.

Gakadriel commented on the Kinslaying: "You _bastard_."

Mandos, Doomsman of the Valar tagged the Noldor in his note You Are All Doomed.

Finarfin left the group Leaving Aman for Middle Earth

Fëanor doesn't have enough ships for everybody. Too bad.

Fëanor is burning the ships at Losgar.

Maedhros thinks burning the ships was a very bad idea.

Fingolfin wonders WHAT THE HELL FËANOR THINKS HE'S DOING.

Fingolfin and Fëanor are no longer friends.

Fingolfin created the event Crossing of Helcaraxë.

a/n: I am following the published version of the Silmarillion here. If you prefer the version from the Shibboleth of Fëanor (I do), feel free to mentally insert the following chat conversation:

Ambarussa: DAD, WHY AM I ON FIRE?

Fëanor: Oops, didn't mean for that to happen.

Fëanor: What were you doing on the ship anyway? Planning to sneak back to Valinor, were you?

Ambarussa: IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP PLEASE IT HURTS

Fëanor: Oh quit your whining, I don't have time for this. I've got some Silmarils to fetch and a Dark Lord to defeat. See you in Mandos!

Ambarussa: DAD WTF?

Ambarussa is no longer online.


	7. Chapter 7

**Of the Sindar**

Elwë is now Thingol.

Melian just gave birth to the prettiest little girl ever born.

Thingol and the Dwarves are now friends.

Thingol likes his new house.

Orcs added Beleriand to the Places I've Been application.

Thingol became a fan of swords.

Thingol and the Nandor are now friends.

Melian added "keeping Ungoliant out of Neldoreth" to her interests.

Ungoliant added Nan Dungortheb to the Places I've Been application.

Morgoth created the event First Battle in the Wars of Beleriand.

Thingol tagged the Nandor in his note Please Help Me Defeat This Orc Army.

The Nandor are attending the event First Battle in the Wars of Beleriand.

Thingol won the battle. Take that, orcs!

The Nandor removed "open war" from their interests.

Círdan tagged Thingol in his note We're Losing This Battle.

Thingol oops.

Melian created the Girdle of Melian to protect Doriath.


	8. Chapter 8

**Of the Sun and the Moon; Of Men**

Manwë thinks the Valar should do something about this darkness.

Yavanna will try.

Telperion sent Yavanna a flower.

Laurelin sent Yavanna a fruit.

Yavanna is proud of her accomplishment.

Nienna helped too, _actually_.

Tilion likes the flower of Telperion.

Arien likes the fruit of Laurelin.

Aulë likes the spaceships he just made.

Tilion became a fan of Arien.

Lórien thinks it shouldn't be light all the time_._ (Estë likes this.)

Varda changed her plans... happy now, Lórien?

Morgoth is bloody well going to try to smash down these lights too.

Tilion can't let Morgoth do that.

14 of your friends are attending the event Hiding of Valinor.

Men just woke up.

Ulmo is trying to send messages to Men... not that anyone ever listens to him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Of the Return of the Noldor**

Fëanor added Mithrim to the Places I've Been application.

Morgoth created the event Dagor-nuin-Giliath.

Fëanor will be damned if he's going to let the hosts of Morgoth stop him from getting revenge.

Mandos, Doomsman of the Valar would like to point out that Fëanor already _is _damned. Although he prefers "doomed".

Fëanor is attending the event Dagor-nuin-Giliath.

Fëanor is burning with wrath.

Morgoth oh crap.

Morgoth wonders where his plans went wrong.

Fëanor likes fighting Balrogs.

Fëanor is burning. Literally.

Morgoth tagged Maedhros in his note I Surrender, Let's Discuss The Terms.

Maedhros is preparing a surprise for Morgoth.

Morgoth thinks it's pretty stupid to try to deceive the Master of Deceit.

Maedhros thinks Morgoth is a crappy host, although the view is pretty good.

Fingolfin finally reached the end of the ice... and is looking forward to having a word with Fëanor.

Morgoth doesn't approve of these new lights in the sky at all.

Fingolfin thinks it is awfully rude of Morgoth not to answer when someone knocks on his door.

Fingolfin added Mithrim to the Places I've Been application.

Fingon added "healing the feud that divides the Noldor" to his interests.

Fingon is just going out for a while.

Maedhros joined the group One-Handed Badasses.

Maedhros and Fingolfin are now friends.

Fingolfin is now King of the Noldor.

Angrod added Doriath to the Places I've Been application.

Thingol says the Noldor can stay in north Beleriand as long as they don't bother his people, but they're not welcome in Doriath.

Caranthir thinks Angrod should remember whose side he's on.

Maedhros joined the group Not Even Eru Himself Could Keep My Siblings Out Of Trouble.

Maedhros leads his brothers east so they can't fight with Fingolfin's people.

Fingolfin created the event Mereth Aderthad.

Turgon and Finrod are attending the event Journey Along Sirion.

Ulmo sent Turgon ominous dreams.

Ulmo sent Finrod ominous dreams.

Finrod is staying in Doriath with Galadriel.

Finrod became a fan of caves.

Celeborn became a fan of Galadriel's hair.

Finrod and the Dwarves are now friends.

Finrod likes his new caves.

Celeborn and Galadriel are now in a relationship.

Ulmo told Turgon about a secret valley where he could build a city... not that anyone ever listens to him.

Ulmo is shocked. Turgon actually listened to him.

Morgoth created the event Dagor Aglareb.

Fingolfin and Maedhros are attending the event Dagor Aglareb.

Morgoth wonders what went wrong this time.

Fingolfin likes the Siege of Angband.

Morgoth created the event Surprise Attack on Hithlum.

Fingon is attending the event Surprise Attack on Hithlum.

Morgoth is starting to wish he had never talked to the Noldor about leaving Aman.

Morgoth added "coming up with better weapons" to his interests.

Morgoth likes dragons.

Glaurung just found out that arrows hurt.

Morgoth is displeased that Glaurung showed himself too soon.


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks for the reviews!_

_CrackinAndProudOfIt: I don't know whose page this is... possibly Tolkien's. I can't think of an in-story character who would be friends with both Morgoth and the Noldor._

**Of the Noldor in Beleriand**

Turgon is preparing to move to Gondolin.

Ulmo promised Turgon to warn him if Gondolin is in danger... not that anyone ever listens to him.

Fingolfin wonders why a third part of his host has suddenly disappeared... is this some kind of prank, Turgon?

Turgon became a fan of Gondolin.

Melian wonders why the Noldor left Aman.

Galadriel was just questioned by Melian and wonders if she said too much. Or too little.

Círdan tagged Thingol in his note I Hear Dark Rumours About the Noldor.

Thingol is very disappointed with his grandnephews.

Angrod doesn't see why he should take the blame for things he didn't do.

Angrod just told Thingol everything and doesn't care what the Fëanorians think about it.

Thingol is furious.

Thingol tagged the Sindar in his note No More Bloody Quenya; Shun the Kinslayers Who Speak It.


	11. Chapter 11

**Of Maeglin**

Aredhel thinks Gondolin is boring.

Turgon is pretty sure that leaving Gondolin is a bad idea.

Turgon will give Aredhel an escort but she is only to go to Fingon in Hithlum, understand?

Aredhel doesn't like being told what to do.

Turgon joined the group Not Even Eru Himself Could Keep My Siblings Out Of Trouble.

Aredhel thinks the march-wardens of Doriath are rude.

Aredhel added Nan Dungortheb to the Places I've Been application.

Aredhel wonders where her companions went.

Celegorm and Curufin are attending the event Hunting Trip With Caranthir in Thargelion.

Aredhel wishes people had the decency to be at home when she comes to visit.

Aredhel added Nan Elmoth to the Places I've Been application.

Eöl became a fan of Aredhel.

Eöl and Aredhel are now married.

Aredhel just had a baby! Having trouble agreeing on a name, though.

Eöl will name his son Maeglin, and that's final. Twelve bloody years to come up with a name...

Aredhel still thinks Lómion is prettier.

Eöl will NOT give his son a name in the tongue of those kinslayers and usurpers, and his wife should know better than to suggest it.

Maeglin and the Dwarves are now friends.

Maeglin likes tales about the Noldor.

Eöl is NOT going to let his son deal with the Noldor; they have stolen our land and slain our kin.

Maeglin wonders why his father married a Noldo if he hates them so much.

Eöl will set his son in bonds if he doesn't obey - and his marrying Aredhel is irrelevant to this discussion, and anyway Maeglin is starting to make him wish he hadn't.

Eöl is attending the event Midsummer Party in Nogrod.

Maeglin thinks his mother and he should go to Gondolin. (Aredhel likes this.)

Eöl came home with a hangover and now his wife and son are gone? Fuck this.

Eöl added Himlad to the Places I've Been application.

Curufin wishes the laws of the Eldar had permitted him to kill a certain snotty Dark Elf.

Eöl wishes the laws of the Eldar had permitted him to kill a certain snotty Fëanorian.

Maeglin added Gondolin to the Places I've Been application.

Turgon is very glad to see his little sister again!

Maeglin became a fan of Idril Celebrindal.

Eöl added Gondolin to the Places I've Been application.

Eöl does NOT want to stay in Gondolin; he wants his son back so he can get out of this bloody Noldorin city ASAP.

Turgon happens to have a law that says no one can leave Gondolin; Eöl can live here or die here, and the same goes for his son.

Eöl takes the second choice... for both.

Aredhel didn't expect her husband to use a poisoned javelin. What a jerk.

Turgon has no mercy for his sister's killer.

Maeglin joined the group Orphans.

Turgon and Maeglin are now friends.

Idril thinks there's something funny about Maeglin.


	12. Chapter 12

**Of the Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin**

Fingolfin thinks it's time to attack Morgoth again. (Angrod and Aegnor like this.)

Fingolfin wonders what the point of being High King is when people don't listen to you.

Morgoth created the event Dagor Bragollach.

Glaurung, Balrogs and Orcs are attending the event Dagor Bragollach.

The Noldor didn't see that coming.

Angrod joined the group Killed In Dagor Bragollach.

Aegnor joined the group Killed In Dagor Bragollach.

Bregolas joined the group Killed In Dagor Bragollach.

Finrod narrowly escaped getting killed - thanks a lot Barahir!

Finrod sent Barahir a ring.

Hador joined the group Killed In Dagor Bragollach.

Gundor joined the group Killed In Dagor Bragollach.

Celegorm added Nargothrond to the Places I've Been application.

Curufin added Nargothrond to the Places I've Been application.

Maedhros wishes Orcs wouldn't flee before his face - he hardly gets to kill any.

Maglor is staying with Maedhros on Himring since that blasted dragon invaded his lands :(

Caranthir thinks this seems to be a good time to take a trip to the south.

Fingolfin has had enough.

Fingolfin tagged Morgoth in his note Come Out, You Craven and Lord of Slaves.

Morgoth is _really _starting to wish to wish he had never talked to the Noldor about leaving Aman.

Fingolfin joined the group Died Like a Hero.

Morgoth hates bloody eagles and stupid heroic Noldor kings and his foot HURTS.

Fingon is now King of the Noldor.

Barahir is not going to leave Dorthonion.

Emeldir would prefer to stay and fight too, but someone's got to lead those who can't fight to safety.

Sauron likes his new house.

Orodreth thinks Sauron cheated. Dark clouds of fear is definitely cheating.

Sauron is on the side of evil, so he's allowed to cheat. :P

Maedhros and the Easterlings are now friends.

Halmir tagged Thingol in his note Orcs Are Invading Brethil.

Halmir, Beleg Cúthalion, Húrin and Huor are attending the event Attacking an Orc-legion.

Húrin added Gondolin to the Places I've Been application.

Huor added Gondolin to the Places I've Been application.

Turgon and Húrin are now friends.

Húrin wants to go home.

Maeglin is pretty sure there was a law that said no one could leave Gondolin.

Húrin will gladly swear an oath of silence if it makes Maeglin stop complaining.

Galdor is very happy that his sons have returned!

Turgon added "sending messengers to Valinor" to his interests.

Morgoth added "finding out where Turgon and Finrod are hiding" to his interests.

Morgoth created the event Attack on Hithlum.

Fingon, Galdor, Húrin and Círdan are attending the event Attack on Hithlum.

Húrin joined the group Orphans.

Húrin and Morwen are now married.


	13. Chapter 13

_Thank you so much for the reviews, everyone! _

**Of Beren and Lúthien**

Gorlim misses Eilinel. A lot.

Gorlim joined the group Captives of Sauron.

Sauron created the event Attack on Tarn Aeluin.

Gorlim tagged Beren in his note I'm Sorry; I Betrayed You.

Beren added "vengeance" to his interests.

Beren stole back his father's hand from the Orcs.

Beren became a fan of guerilla warfare.

Morgoth tagged Sauron in his note Capture This Mad Outlaw.

Beren survived Nan Dungortheb. Don't want to talk about it. EVER.

Beren added Doriath to the Places I've Been application.

Beren became a fan of Lúthien Tinúviel.

Lúthien and Beren are now in a relationship.

Daeron tagged Thingol in his note Your Daughter Is Seeing a Man.

Beren likes Menegroth.

Thingol will let Beren marry Lúthien when he brings a Silmaril from the crown of Morgoth... i.e. never.

Melian thinks this was a very bad idea.

Lúthien removed "singing" from her interests.

Beren added Nargothrond to the Places I've Been application.

Finrod is no oath-breaker - but he's afraid his cousins aren't, either.

Curufin is rather proud of his speech.

The People of Nargothrond became a fan of Celegorm & Curufin.

Finrod sent Orodreth a crown.

Finrod, Beren and 10 of your friends are attending the event Quest for a Silmaril.

Finrod, Beren and 10 of your friends joined the group Captives of Sauron.

Lúthien is not going to sit in a treehouse while her love is in danger.

Lúthien added Nargothrond to the Places I've Been application.

Celegorm became a fan of Lúthien Tinúviel.

Curufin tagged Thingol in his note We Have Captured Your Daghter (And My Brother Will Marry Her).

Lúthien and Huan are now friends.

Finrod killed a werewolf with his teeth. And then died. Pretty eventful day, all in all.

Lúthien added Tol-in-Gaurhoth to the Places I've Been application.

Sauron likes Lúthien's singing.

Huan added "killing werewolves" to his interests.

Sauron is not looking forward to explaining to Morgoth that he was defeated by a girl and a dog.

The People of Nargothrond is no longer a fan of Celegorm & Curufin.

Celebrimbor and Curufin are no longer friends.

Celegorm and Huan are no longer friends.

Beren likes his new sword.

Curufin is not happy and is going to take it out on someone.

Beren will not let Lúthien get hurt!

Huan sent Lúthien a herb.

Beren feels much better now. Thanks, Tinúviel.

Lúthien wonders what part of "I will not be parted from you again" Beren didn't understand.

Huan found some nice disguises, maybe they could be helpful?

Carcharoth suddenly feels sleepy.

Morgoth became a fan of Lúthien Tinúviel.

Morgoth is suddenly... starting to... feel... very... slee...

Beren got the Silmaril.

Lúthien is afraid she doesn't have enough power to make Carcharoth fall asleep again.

Beren joined the group One-Handed Badasses.

Carcharoth joined the group The Silmaril, It Burns!

Thorondor created the event Yet Another Eagle Rescue Mission.

Lúthien healed Beren... again.

Mablung tagged Thingol in his note A Mad Wolf Is Invading Doriath.

Beren is back, with a Silmaril in his hand! Except his hand isn't back.

Thingol and Beren are now friends.

Beren and Lúthien Tinúviel are now married.

Thingol created the event Hunting of the Wolf.

Mablung, Beleg, Beren and Huan are attending the event Hunting of the Wolf.

Carcharoth is dead.

Huan says farewell to Beren.

Beren has achieved his quest.

Beren added Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Lúthien added Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Mandos became a fan of Lúthien Tinúviel.

Lúthien chooses a mortal life.


	14. Chapter 14

**Of the Fifth Battle: Nirnaeth Arnoediad**

Beren added Dor Firn-i-Guinar to the Places I've Been application.

Lúthien added Dor Firn-i-Guinar to the Places I've Been application.

Thingol became a fan of the Silmarils.

Maedhros tagged Thingol in his note Give Us Our Silmaril.

Thingol sent Maedhros scornful words.

Curufin added "slaying Thingol and destroying his people" to his interests.

Celegorm added "slaying Thingol and destroying his people" to his interests.

Maedhros created the group Union of Maedhros.

Fingon, Húrin and Haldir joined the group Union of Maedhros.

Bór, Ulfang and Azaghâl joined the group Union of Maedhros.

Orodreth isn't interested in helping those responsible for his brother's death, tyvm.

Thingol will not have anything to do with the sons of Fëanor.

Gwindor, Beleg and Mablung joined the group Union of Maedhros.

Uldor added "delaying Maedhros" to his interests.

Fingon is happy to see that his brother has decided to join them!

Morgoth created the event Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

Gwindor became a fan of premature attacks.

Gwindor and Fingon are attending the event Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

Gwindor joined the group Prisoners of Morgoth.

Turgon is attending the event Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

Húrin is glad to see Turgon again.

Maedhros is attending the event Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

Orcs, Wolfriders, Balrogs and Glaurung are attending the event Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

Uldor and Caranthir are no longer friends.

Azaghâl likes fighting dragons.

Azaghâl joined the group Died Like a Hero.

Fingon thinks sneaking up behind him when he's fighting the captain of Balrogs is cheating.

Fingon joined the group Died Like a Hero.

Húrin thinks Turgon should get out of here. (Huor likes this.)

Húrin created the event Most Epic Last Stand in the History of Arda.

Húrin joined the group Prisoners of Morgoth.

The Easterlings added Hithlum to the Places I've Been application.

Círdan has made a refuge on the Isle of Balar.

Turgon tagged Círdan in his note Please Help Me Build Some Ships So I Can Send Messengers To Valinor.

Morgoth wants to know where Turgon is hiding.

Húrin added "defying and mocking Morgoth" to his interests.

Morgoth likes chaining people to mountains.

Morgoth cursed Húrin and his wife and children - that should teach the insolent mortal to question the power of Melkor.


	15. Chapter 15

_Once again, thank you very much to all reviewers.  
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**Of Túrin Turambar**

Túrin misses Lalaith :(

Brodda and Aerin are now married.

The Easterlings think Morwen is a witch.

Morwen fears her son will be enslaved.

Túrin added Doriath to the Places I've Been application.

Nienor thinks her mother could have picked a less gloomy name.

Thingol and Túrin are now friends.

Thingol tagged Morwen in his note Come Stay With Us.

Morwen sent Thingol a Dragon-helm of Dor-Lómin.

Thingol sent Túrin a Dragon-helm of Dor-Lómin.

Túrin added "fighting" to his interests.

Túrin and Beleg are now friends.

Saeros wonders if mortal women are as ugly and unkempt as their sons.

Túrin is not going to let people insult his mother.

Saeros likes revenge.

Túrin didn't think the stupid elf would throw himself into the river.

Túrin joined the group Outlaws.

Túrin is now Neithan.

Thingol pardons Túrin.

Beleg added "finding Túrin" to his interests.

Beleg didn't expect to get tortured by his old friend's associates.

Beleg removed "finding Túrin" from his interests.

Túrin is very sorry for all his evil deeds - but he's not going back to Doriath.

Beleg tagged Túrin in his note Seek Me In Dimbar.

Túrin tagged Beleg in his note Seek Me On Amon Rûdh.

Thingol sent Beleg a sword.

Melian sent Beleg lembas.

Anglachel likes orc-blood.

Beleg added "finding Túrin" to his interests.

Mîm will let Túrin and his band stay in his house if they spare his life - please?

Túrin added Amon Rûdh to the Places I've Been application.

Túrin wishes he could recall the arrow that killed Mîm's son.

Túrin and Mîm are now friends.

Beleg added Amon Rûdh to the Places I've Been application.

Beleg removed "finding Túrin" from his interests.

Mîm and Túrin are no longer friends.

Túrin is now Gorthol.

Mîm will lead the Orcs to Amon Rûdh if they spare his life - please?

Túrin joined the group Prisoners of Morgoth.

Beleg added "finding Túrin" to his interests.

Gwindor left the group Prisoners of Morgoth.

Beleg sent Gwindor lembas.

Beleg and Gwindor are now friends.

Túrin left the group Prisoners of Morgoth.

Beleg added Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Túrin joined the group WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Gwindor wishes Túrin would speak to him; his silence is getting creepy.

Túrin added Ivrin to the Places I've Been application.

Túrin feels better now.

Túrin added Nargothrond to the Places I've Been application.

Túrin is now Agarwaen son of Úmarth.

Orodreth and Túrin are now friends.

The People of Nargothrond became a fan of Agarwaen a.k.a. Mormegil a.k.a. Adanedhel.

Anglachel thinks it's nice to be used again.

Finduilas became a fan of Agarwaen a.k.a. Mormegil a.k.a. Adanedhel.

Finduilas and Gwindor are no longer in a relationship.

Túrin thinks it wasn't very nice of Gwindor to reveal his real name.

The People of Nargothrond removed "secrecy" from their interests.

Morwen added Doriath to the Places I've Been application.

Nienor added Doriath to the Places I've Been application.

Ulmo sent messengers to warn Orodreth... not that anyone ever listens to him.

Glaurung created the event Attack on Nargothrond.

Gwindor wishes he'd never saved Túrin.

Finduilas joined the group Prisoners of Morgoth.

Glaurung likes hypnotic mind-games.

Túrin added "finding his mother and sister" to his interests.

Finduilas tagged Dorlas in her note Tell The Mormegil That Finduilas Is Here.

Aerin joined the group Widows.

Túrin added "finding Finduilas" to his interests.

Túrin is now Wildman of the Woods.

Túrin can't come and stay in Brethil because he's got to save Finduilas.

Dorlas is afraid Finduilas was pinned to a tree with a spear quite a while ago.

Túrin joined the group Men of Brethil.

Túrin is now Turambar.

Morwen added "finding Túrin" to her interests.

Mablung is coming with Morwen. Thingol's orders.

Nienor is not going to be separated from her mother.

Mablung would like Morwen and Nienor to stay on Amon Ethir while he goes to explore Nargothrond - and can they _please_ do what they're told for once?

Glaurung likes inflicting amnesia.

Mablung lost Morwen, found Nienor and then lost her again. FML.

Mablung added "finding Morwen and Nienor" to his interests.

Túrin found a mysterious maiden at Haudh-en-Elleth - will call her Níniel, since she doesn't appear to have a name.

Nienor joined the group Men of Brethil.

Brandir became a fan of Níniel.

Nienor likes Túrin.

Túrin and Nienor are now married.

Glaurung added "assaulting Brethil" to his interests.

Túrin created the group Dragon-slayers-to-be.

Dorlas and Hunthor joined the group Dragon-slayers-to-be.

Dorlas left the group Dragon-slayers-to-be.

Hunthor thinks he should have gotten a cooler death.

Túrin likes stabbing dragons.

Nienor remembers everything now.

Nienor became a fan of suicide.

Brandir supposes someone had better go back and tell the people about this tragedy.

Dorlas doesn't see what Hunthor was complaining about; at least he didn't get killed by a cripple.

Túrin wonders where his wife is.

Brandir can inform Túrin that Níniel is dead and it's all Túrin's fault.

Túrin thinks it's all Brandir's fault, and is going to take out his anger on him.

Mablung is glad to see Túrin again.

Túrin wonders where his mother and sister are.

Mablung is afraid Morwen and Nienor got lost.

Túrin became a fan of suicide.

Anglachel will drink Túrin's blood gladly.

Mablung wonders which of Túrin's names to put of the gravestone - there simply isn't room for Túrin Húrinion Neithan Gorthol Agarwaen Úmarthion Adanedhel Mormegil Wildman of the Woods Turambar Dagnir Glaurunga.


	16. Chapter 16

_It is starting to feel a bit repetitive to write "thanks for the reviews" at the beginning of every chapter, but... Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them._

_Also, I feel like I should apologize for this chapter - it's not particularly funny. Húrin's post-Angband story is just so tragic that I can hardly find any funny bits._

**Of the Ruin of Doriath**

Húrin thinks his own people should know better than to think he's turned to evil.

Húrin would like to see Gondolin again.

Turgon is sad to hear that Húrin has surrendered to Morgoth's will.

Morgoth knows the approximate location of Gondolin now.

Húrin found his wife.

Morwen dies unconquered.

Húrin added "vengeance" to his interests.

Húrin added Nargothrond to the Places I've Been application.

Mîm likes gold.

Húrin likes killing the one who betrayed his son.

Húrin sent Thingol the Nauglamír.

Húrin and Thingol are no longer friends.

Melian wants Húrin to see the truth, not the crooked version seen through Morgoth's eyes.

Húrin and Thingol are now friends.

Húrin has nothing left to live for.

Thingol tagged the Dwarves in his note Can You Remake The Nauglamír And Set My Silmaril In It?

The Dwarves became a fan of the Silmarils.

The Dwarves wonder by what right Thingol claims the Nauglamír.

Thingol wonders how the stunted ones dare to demand anything of an Elf-king.

Melian joined the group Widows.

The Dwarves added "vengeance" to their interests.

Melian is leaving.

The Dwarves are attending the event Sacking of Doriath.

Beren created the event Battle by Sarn Athrad.

Lúthien is prettier than ever, but not particularly happy.

Dior is now King of Doriath.

Lúthien sent Dior the Nauglamír.

Dior became a fan of the Silmarils.

Maedhros tagged Dior in his note Give Us Our Silmaril.

Celegorm created the event Assault on Doriath.

Celegorm, Curufin, Caranthir, Dior and Nimloth joined the group Died In The Second Kinslaying.

Maedhros wonders what the hell is wrong with his brother's servants.

Maedhros added "finding Dior's sons" to his interests.

Elwing escaped with the Silmaril.

Elwing added the Mouths of Sirion to the Places I've Been application.


	17. Chapter 17

**Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin**

Huor is attending the event Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

Rían joined the group Widows.

Tuor joined the group Orphans.

Tuor doesn't enjoy being a thrall.

Lorgan will pay the one who brings him Tuor's head. Attached body optional.

Ulmo sent Tuor restlessness.

Tuor is leaving Hithlum.

Tuor became a fan of the Sea.

Tuor saw seven swans and decided to follow them, because he doesn't have anything better to do.

Tuor added Vinyamar to the Places I've Been application.

Ulmo will send Tuor to Turgon to warn him of the approaching danger... not that anyone ever listens to him.

Voronwë and Tuor are now friends.

Voronwë will lead Tuor to Gondolin.

Tuor wonders who the mysterious man with the black sword who just passed by was.

Tuor added Gondolin to the Places I've Been application.

Tuor just told the High King of the Noldor to leave the beautiful city he built.

Maeglin added "opposing Tuor" to his interests.

Turgon will not leave Gondolin.

Ulmo wonders why he's even trying anymore.

Turgon and Tuor are now friends.

Tuor and Idril are now married.

Maeglin is not happy at all.

Tuor likes his son Eärendil.

Idril has forebodings.

Idril added "preparing a secret way of escape" to her interests.

Maeglin added Angband to the Places I've Been application.

Maeglin became a fan of treachery.

Idril is _sure_ there's something funny about Maeglin.

The Gondolindrim are attending the event Gates of Summer.

Morgoth created the event Fall of Gondolin.

Orcs, Balrogs, Wolves and Dragons are attending the event Fall of Gondolin.

Ecthelion joined the group Balrog-slayers.

Turgon WILL NOT LEAVE GONDOLIN.

Maeglin is finally going to get Idril for himself and kill her bastard son!

Tuor commented on Maeglin's status: "You wish."

Maeglin added Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Tuor thinks it would be a good idea to leave Gondolin.

Glorfindel joined the group Balrog-slayers.

The Gondolindrim added Nan-tathren to the Places I've Been application.

Tuor wants to see the Sea again. (Eärendil likes this.)

The Gondolindrim added the Mouths of Sirion to the Places I've Been application.

Gil-galad is now King of the Noldor.

Morgoth is triumphant.

Ulmo tried to convince the Valar to come to the aid of the Noldor... and they didn't listen to him. How surprising.

Tuor is starting to feel old age creep upon him.

Idril is coming with Tuor on his last journey into the sunset.


	18. Chapter 18

**Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath**

Eärendil and Elwing are now married.

Eärendil became a fan of the Sea.

Círdan and Eärendil are now friends.

Eärendil likes his new ship.

Eärendil added "sailing" to his interests.

Elwing wishes Eärendil would spend some time with his own family instead of trying to find his parents.

Maedhros tagged Elwing in his note Give Us Our Silmaril.

Elwing will not yield the jewel.

Maedhros created the event Third (And Hopefully Last) Kinslaying.

Amrod is dead :(

Amras is dead too.

Elwing had expected to drown but instead turned into a seabird... WTF is going on?

Eärendil is glad to see his wife again.

Maglor and Elrond are now friends.

Maglor and Elros are now friends.

Eärendil added Valinor to the Places I've Been application.

Elwing will not be sundered from her husband.

Elwing added Valinor to the Places I've Been application.

Eärendil wonders where everyone is.

Eönwe tagged Eärendil in his note "Hail Eärendil, Of Mariners Most Renowned Etc.!"

Eärendil asked the Valar for help, and they granted it, yay!

Ulmo is not jealous of Eärendil because the Valar listened to him when Ulmo has said the same thing before without being heard. Not jealous at all.

Mandos, Doomsman of the Valar wonders what doom Eärendil will receive for setting foot upon the undying lands.

Manwë is not going to punish Eärendil and Elwing but they will have to stay in Valinor. Oh, and they and their sons get to choose what kindred they want to be.

Elwing and the Teleri are now friends.

Elwing joined the group Elves.

Eärendil joined the group Elves.

Eärendil added the starless void to the Places I've Been application.

Elwong added "flying" to her interests.

Maedhros thinks the new star looks suspiciously like a Silmaril.

Manwë created the event War of Wrath.

The Vanyar, the Noldor, the Maiar and the Edain are attending the event War of Wrath.

Morgoth likes Dragons v. 2.0: Now With Wings!

Eärendil joined the group Dragon-slayers.

Morgoth hates hates HATES losing.

Maedhros tagged Eönwe in his note Give Us Our Silmarils.

Eönwe tagged Maedhros and Maglor in his note Submit To The Judgement Of The Valar, And Then You Will Get The Simarils. Maybe.

Maedhros created the event Definitely The Last Time We Kill Elves, Maglor, I Promise.

Eönwe won't permit the slaying of the sons of Fëanor.

Maedhros and Maglor joined the group The Silmaril, It Burns!

Maedhros spent ages trying to reclaim this jewel only to have it burn his remaining hand? FML.

Maedhros became a fan of suicide.

Maglor sent Ulmo a Silmaril.

Maglor added "walking the earth" to his interests.

The Noldor and the Teleri are now friends.

Círdan, Celeborn, Galadriel, Gil-galad and Elrond joined the group Elves Staying In Middle Earth.

Elros joined the group Men.

Morgoth added the Timeless Void to the Places I've Been application.

_Here ends the SILMARILLION. If it has passed from the high and the beautiful to darkness and ruin, that was of old the fate of Arda Marred; and having Facebook would probably not have helped them._


	19. Chapter 19

**Akallabêth**

The Edain is attending the event War of Wrath.

Beleriand joined the group Ex-Continents.

The Valar will give the Edain wisdom, power and long-livedness.

The Edain is attending the event Follow the Star.

The Edain added Númenor to the Places I've Been application.

Elros is now King of Númenor.

The Dúnedain and the Eldar are now friends.

The Dúnedain became a fan of the Sea.

The Dúnedain added "ship-building" to their interests.

The Eldar sent the Dúnedain Nimloth the White Tree.

The Dúnedain sent the Men of Middle-Earth corn and wine.

The Men of Middle-Earth became a fan of the Dúnedain.

The Dúnedain added "achieving immortality" to their interests.

Tar-Ciryatan likes colonialism.

Manwë wonders why people cannot be satisfied with what they have?

Manwë tagged Tar-Atanamir in his message Look, It Is The Will Of Ilúvatar, So Stop Blaming Me And Just Accept Your Mortality Already.

Tar-Atanamir is not listening.

The King's Men and the Valar are no longer friends.

The King's Men and the Eldar are no longer friends.

The Faithful still want to be friends with the Elves.

The Dúnedain became a fan of mummification.

The Dúnedain likes partying.

Tar-Ancalimon can't be bothered to climb a mountain just to sacrifice fruit.

Sauron joined the group Evil Overlords.

Sauron has Ring-wraiths now! *evil laugh*

Adûnakhor removed "the Elven-tongues" from his interests.

Ar-Gimilzôr does not trust the Faithful.

Ar-Gimilzôr added "persecution of everyone who doesn't agree with me" to his interests.

Ar-Gimilzôr and Inzilbêth are now married.

Inzilbêth could have sworn consent was required for marriage. Apparently not.

Tar-Palantir tagged the Dúnedain in his note Repent!

Gimilkhâd added "sowing discord" to his interests.

Tar-Palantir wishes the Elves would visit again.

Tar-Palantir is weary.

The Dúnedain became a fan of Pharazôn.

Pharazôn and Míriel are now married.

Míriel doesn't get a say in this? FML.

Pharazôn shall henceforth be known as Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men!

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men created the event War Against Sauron.

Sauron will be happy to swear fealty to such a mighty lord.

Sauron added Númenor to the Places I've Been application.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men and Sauron are now friends.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men became a fan of Darkness.

The Dúnedain joined the group Worshippers of Melkor.

Amandil is pretty sure this is going to end badly.

Amandil tagged the Faithful in his note You Are In Peril; Come To Rómenna.

Sauron doesn't see why it is so hard to persuade the king to cut down a tree, after all the atrocities he's committed.

Isildur created the event Most Badass Fruit-Snatching Ever.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men is no longer a fan of Nimloth the White Tree.

Sauron likes the new temple.

The King's Men added "human sacrifice" to their interests.

The Faithful added "avoiding being sacrificed" to their interests.

Sauron is having a great time.

The Men of Middle-Earth is no longer a fan of the Dúnedain.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men added "rebelling against the Powers of the World" to his interests.

Ulmo wonders if people will ever learn.

Amandil is going to try to sail west to talk to the Valar. Worked for Eärendil, didn't it?

Elendil tagged the Faithful in his note We Must Be Prepared, Although I'm Not Sure For What.

Númenor left the group Lands With Perfect Weather.

Sauron did a pretty nice stunt there with defying lightning.

The Valar sent the Dúnedain an earthquake.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men created the event War against the Valar.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men added Valinor to the Places I've Been application.

Manwë tagged Ilúvatar in his note Could You Sort This Out Please?

Ilúvatar changed the shape of the world. Problem solved.

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men did not mean "spending eternity buried in a cave" when he said he wanted to live forever!

Númenor, the Dúnedain and Míriel are attending the event Drowning of Númenor.

Númenor joined the group Ex-Continents.

The Faithful joined the group Peoples of Middle-Earth.

All Roads joined the group Bent.


	20. Chapter 20

**Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age**

Gil-galad is now king of Lindon.

Celebrimbor added Eregion to the Places I've Been application.

The Gwaith-i-Mírdain and the Dwarves of Khazad-dûm are now friends.

Sauron and the Gwaith-i-Mírdain are now friends.

The Gwaith-i-Mírdain became a fan of Rings of Power.

Sauron made the One Ring To Rule Them All, suckers!

The Gwith-i-Mirdain and Sauron are no longer friends.

Sauron created the event War Against the Elves.

Celebrimbor added "keeping the Three away from Sauron" to his interests.

Elrond is building a new stronghold. Thinking of calling it Imladris.

Sauron sent Dwarves seven rings.

Dwarves likes gold.

Sauron sent Men nine rings.

Sauron joined the group Evil Overlords.

Sauron has Ring-wraiths now! *evil laugh*

Ar-Pharazôn the Golden, King of Men created the event War Against Sauron.

Sauron will be happy to swear fealty to such a mighty lord.

Sauron added Númenor to the Places I've Been application.

Númenor joined the group Ex-Continents.

Sauron has never before been so happy to be immortal.

Sauron needs to get better underlings, seems like they have been letting a certain elven-king take over half his territory while he was gone!

Elendil created the event House-Warming (Well, More Like Country-Warming, I Guess) Party in Arnor.

Anárion is afraid he and Isildur can't come, being busy constructing their own realm in Gondor. Will be watching via palantír, though!

The White Tree added Minas Ithil to the Places I've Been application.

Sauron may have lost his pretty form but he hasn't lost grip of his objective. World Domination Time!

Sauron tagged his servants in his note Hiho, Hiho, It's Off To War We Go.

Isildur is running away with a seedling of the White Tree... this feels familiar.

Elendil and Gil-galad created the group Last Alliance.

Elendil and Gil-galad created the event War Against Sauron.

Sauron doesn't mind sieges but he prefers being on the attacking side. Against outnumbered enemies, preferably.

Anárion added the Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Gil-galad and Elendil joined the group Died Like A Hero.

Sauron lost his body AGAIN. FML.

Isildur became a fan of the One Ring To Rule Them All.

Elrond really thinks Isildur should throw the Ring into Mount Doom... not that anyone ever listens to him.

The White Tree II added Minas Anor to the Places I've Been application.

Orcs created the event Gladden Fields Sneak Attack.

Isildur sent Ohtar a sword.

The One Ring To Rule Them All doesn't see why it should help someone who cut it off from its masters finger.

Isildur added Halls of Mandos to the Places I've Been application.

Ohtar sent Valandil a sword.

The Dúnedain of the North removed "unity" from their interests.

Minas Ithil is now Minas Morgul.

Eärnur tagged the Witch-King in his note Come Out And Duel Me.

Eärnur is now dead.

Mardil the Faithful added "ruling Gondor" to his interests.

The Rohirrim and the Gondorians are now friends.

Greenwood is now Mirkwood.

Gandalf, Saruman and 3 of your friends are attending he event Coming of the Istari.

Galadriel created the group White Council.

Saruman added "ringlore" to his interests.

Gandalf added Dol Guldur to the Places I've Been application.

Gandalf tagged Elrond in his note It's Sauron, Alright.

Gandalf suggests doing something about this.

Saruman thinks it's better to wait and watch a little longer.

Saruman joined the group Traitors.

The White Council created the event Attack on Dol Guldur.

Sauron likes being back in Mordor again.

Gandalf created the event War of the Ring.

Erwen tagged You, Dear Reader in her note That Story Will Be Told Elsewhere.

* * *

><p>"...and an end was come for the Eldar of story and of song." And we got stuck with Facebook instead.<p> 


End file.
